Please, No Need to Explain

Today, we're going to discuss repetition, especially where it fits in with details while writing your scene.

I'm sure you've read it before. I'm sure you've written it before. Heck, I certainly have!

You write a beautifully descriptive sentence about a character's actions. Then, you explain it.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Here's an example:


Wanda fiddled with her pen. She looked from me to the bundle of fur in my arms and finally rested her eyes on the dusty ceiling fan. "You found it, huh?" she said skeptically. 


You've already shown us through Wanda's actions and her words that she's skeptical about the story the protagonist has told her. Repeating this skepticism by writing, "she said skeptically" is redundant.

Why shouldn't we explain details in our writing?

1) It's Unnecessary: You've just shown us through action and dialogue that a character feels a certain way. No need to beat us over the head with the emotions.

2) Showing is Better Than Telling: We've heard it since the fifth grade, folks. Show don't tell. If you can show through stage direction and action how a character feels, why would you instead choose to tell your readers? It's so much more real and immersive when they're involved in the scene.

3) It Insults the Reader: When you repeat information twice in the same paragraph - sometimes in the same sentence! - you're basically telling the reader that they're too thick to understand from your subtle actions what your characters are feeling, so you're going to write it down in plain English for them to grasp. Your readers are smart. You are smart. No need to repeat what's already been conveyed.

So the next time you're editing or even writing your scene, try not to explain what's happening. If you're properly conveying stage action and details as they unfold organically from your characters, there's no need to go back through and tell us that Benji feels slighted, Amanda is frustrated, and the entirety of Wisconsin is hip-deep in snowfall.

What The Sun Taught Me (AKA: writing characters who aren't like you)

In my spare time I write content for a free environmental awareness Zine in my town. The pages are small (about the size of a greeting card) and so rarely require over 200 word submissions.

Though this means I'm not saddled with the burden of a 1,000 word essay every month, it is difficult to write content to fit within a 200 word maximum.

Another added dilemma comes in the form of themes. This month, with a theme of the Summer Solstice, I am writing a Sun Affirmation and a Yoga Sun Salutation Sequence. Sounds interesting, right? The only problem is: I'm allergic to sunlight.

When the sun's rays touch my skin, it inflames and breaks out in a hive-like rash that both feels like molten lava is trapped under my skin and like an army of tiny men with pitchforks are stabbing me repeatedly. I try to stay out of direct sunlight most of the time, and when I have to be in the sun, I usually feel like I'm going to vomit.

However, I know that I am in the minority. Most people love the sun. They love the warmth and the light and the general euphoria that comes with the fact that it's not raining or snowing or the apocalypse.

So, how in the world could I buck up my general avoidance of the large glowing star in the sky into adoration? How could I put aside my personal feelings and put myself in the shoes of others?

Research.

The first thing I did was read up on all the scientific reasons we need the sun to survive. It gave me a new look at the thing I'd grown to know as a hindrance. I had a new admiration for just how much the sun does on this Earth, and you know what? I started liking the sun, too.

Now, I'm not going to go out and bask under the rays for the rest of the day (that would hurt) but I did gain enough information and empathy to write the pieces required of me for this month's issue.

What does this story mean for you?

Well, eventually in your writing career, you will write a character that doesn't share all your same likes and dislikes. You'll write someone of another religion, or someone who dislikes the taste of chocolate, or someone who only wears the color green. It's your job as a writer to research and empathize with the type of person that has values that may not necessarily line up with your own. Not only will you write a fully-rounded and believable character, but you'll expand your own knowledge in the process.

So, go ahead. Give your protagonist a weird quirk or get inside your antagonist's head for awhile. See the world from their perspective and understand why they like or dislike a certain thing. When you research it for a moment, you may find things you were never aware existed.

The Balance of Mystery

You're writing a mystery novel. Even if no corpses or cops show up in your novel, it's a mystery novel nonetheless.

Why do I say this?

Because every good novel is at its core, a mystery. The tension of an hidden affair, an alien ship hanging over the backyard swimming pool, or a set of rare and valuable records vanishing - they're all full of tension. And the main goal of tension is to keep readers guessing. When they keep guessing, they keep flipping the pages.

Your job as a writer is to keep the mystery alive by laying clues down, but not solving them until the climax of the story.

So remember, even if you're writing for children, a literary romance, or a sci-fi stumbler, you have to keep the mystery alive to keep readers engaged.

On The Art of Pacing a Scene

Pacing is one of those illusive elements of the writing craft. You don't want to forge ahead at such a breakneck pace that your readers are gasping, but you also don't want to bore them on such a long amble that they put your book down and move on to the next one.

It seems like some writers are naturally blessed with the ability to perfectly pace a scene. They know when to slow down, when to speed up, and when to make time stop and hang in midair.

If you're not naturally blessed with pacing genius, how in the world is it something you can develop? This week, I'll share with you a few examples of ways to get your pacing under control.

First, my ultimate and overarching advice is to urge you to read. Read in your favorite genre, read outside it. Read anything you can get your hands on - whether it's a newspaper article or a five volume novel. Reading allows you to learn the pacing techniques of other writers firsthand. Some will be spot-on, others way off, and more still somewhere in the middle. If you read them all, you learn what works, what doesn't, and how to fix that in your own piece.

The second piece of advice is to understand your scene. If you're writing a romantic scene or a developmental moment in the plot, you'll want to slow down. If you're writing a chase scene with the killer, or a heated argument, you'll want to turn the pace up a notch.

Understanding what each particular moment in your novel needs is crucial. After you've identified, however, you then need to know what to do to get the desired slowing or quickening pace you're after.

Here are some ideas:

If you're slowing down - 1. Back up. Give readers descriptive passages of the setting, the characters, and what's happening. It's like panning the camera wide in a movie. We're able to see more of the surroundings so the shot can stay on the screen longer. There's more to hold our attention. 2. Get in their heads. Make sure you check in with your main character or other characters in the room and get their feelings, thoughts, and ideas on the page. This can be used to break up dialogue or to give readers a moment to digest the new plot information with the character.

If you're speeding up - 1. Get in the thick of it. Focus on the here and now in the scene. This is not the time for your protagonist to notice how long McFarlan Street is or to think back on the girl he met last night. Adrenaline is high, things are happening, and that's what your character and your reader care about right now. 2. The senses matter. Allow us to taste the blood of a split lip. Let us hear the roar of the approaching train. Give us the smell of the burning fuse. These concrete sensory images bring readers closer to the scene, and when you highlight the right sense with the right piece of information, the tension soars and your pace quickens.

One final snippet of advice: Write with your scene in mind. If you're in the middle of a fight scene, stick to short sentences - yes, even fragments. Strengthen your verbs and ditch all adjectives and adverbs - yes, all of them - to keep things moving.

On the flip side, for a slow scene, use longer, more fluid sentences and paragraphs. You can get away with more details and more adjectives and adverbs (though please try to cut as many as you possibly can. Remember the advice of the great Stephen King, "The road to hell is paved with adverbs".)

Above all, make sure you picture your scene while you're writing. If you're in tune with your characters while you write, they usually reveal the details, thoughts, senses and verbs you need at that given time. Remember, all you need to be a great writer is within you. You simply have to uncover it.

Fiction vs. Nonfiction - What's the Difference?

In my writer's group, we're a diverse bunch. There are literary fiction novelists, flash fiction scribes, essayists, poets, memoirists, writers for children, and international writers. The only way we're able to critique each other's work is by the fact that we understand and respect the rules and guidelines of each particular genre.

This got me thinking. What if my blog readers wanted to join a diverse writer's group? (One that doesn't say in the description, "We're a group of YA novelists helping each other on the way to publication", not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, if you're a YA novelist, you should join them. However, if that's not readily available around you, check out a diverse group, they're awesome.)

So, long story short, we're going to talk about the main difference between Fiction and Nonfiction.

This is great if you're critiquing the work of others, if you're a nonfiction writer with a novel idea, or a fiction writer ready to tackle the scientific explanation of worm holes.

What is the main difference between Fiction and Nonfiction?

Fiction poses questions, whereas nonfiction answers questions.

Yes, it really is that simple.

Think back to your high school days with all those giant textbooks. They often included bold headers throughout the chapter saying something like:

Why is the sky blue?

How does Carver embody minimalist style?

What is an integer? 

The paragraphs of text that followed those headers would answer the question and explain why the answer was that way.

However, this is not the case in fiction. In fiction, whether it's a short story, novella or novel, the best writers simply present us with a question.

Harper Lee posed the question of how innocence is destroyed, as well as the impacts of racism.

F. Scott Fitzgerald posed what facilitates the decline of the "American Dream".

Mary Shelley posed the question of what are the tolls in the pursuit of knowledge.

Being a fiction writer means that through your work, you uncover a question for the reader to ponder and create their own answers for. A nonfiction writer has the question predefined and uses their writing to provide answers for that problem.

It's the ultimate boiling down of the term, show don't tell, to a thematic level.


(Special Note: Memoir and other creative nonfiction [think David Sedaris and Elizabeth Gilbert] has shifted more to a fiction "pose the question, don't answer it" mentality in this post-modern time. So, if you're writing a memoir that reads like fiction, but is merely recounting factual events, please follow the thematic guidelines for fiction writing. It'll be so much more successful.)

Grabbing Readers by the Throat

I finished writing a new novel earlier this month. After letting it sit a week or so, I started rereading it, revising, and sending preliminary drafts out for critique to my writing group.

Now, you must know that the idea for this novel came to me years ago - when I was only a junior in high school. However, all the pieces didn't click together until now, when the book came rushing out of my fingers and pounded in the keys of my laptop.

When I started writing just a few months ago, I began with a sentence (like all of us do). Let's call that Sentence A.

However, when I looked over my notes, I found another beginning sentence I'd written back in high school. This is Sentence B. Not only was it completely different, but it started me almost two chapters prior in the day than what I wrote in Sentence A.

So, naturally, I decided I'd play out what happened between Sentence B and Sentence A. Five thousand words of exposition later, I had a first and second chapter cluttering up the most important part of my novel - the beginning.

It's not like that information is bad, or not useful, or even boring. Things happen. Important characters are introduced. The world is set up.

But it isn't the RIGHT information. It's not the stuff that readers need to know about the protagonist and the inciting incident right from the very first page.

In fact, one of the women in my writing group said, "It's not like Sentence B didn't grab me. It did. It took me by the hand. But Sentence A grabs me by the throat and doesn't let me go."

The strange part about all of this is that I knew that Sentence A was better. I knew that I had to start my novel there all along.

And you know too.

You know when you read through your draft that that verb is too flowery or that sentence isn't right. You know when your protagonist's monologue that stretches for three pages is way too much dialogue and not enough action. You know that you had to start with Sentence A rather than Sentence B.

That's the beauty of being a writer. All you need is within you. You can feel the self doubt creeping in, whispering "that doesn't work." You hear it, even subconsciously, and it puts this seed inside you that makes you show your work to others and ask, "Hey, what do you think of Sentence B?"

Every time (if they're not lying to save your feelings), your readers and critiquers, and yes, your agents, know that you should cut Sentence B and all that precedes it.

The power lies within you. The hard part is learning to listen to it.

The reward, however, is great. I'd much rather grab a reader by the throat and have them tearing through my novel than lead them timidly by the hand.

I Believe, I Believe, I Believe! (AKA Weak Words You Need To Cut Now)

You may think that your editing ceases with punctuation and passive voice. Think again. There are many writer pitfalls that are acceptable in the real world, but not so in fiction. Take a look at my compilation of weak words and phrases you need to cut from your writing right NOW to take it to the next level.

(P.S. don't know what I mean when I say passive voice? Check out this previous post.)


#1: I feel/ I believe/ I think

Reason: It Kills Tension
These are extraneous words we use in dialogue so we don't sound too arrogant on a day to day basis. Women especially have problems over using these words in writing because we're taught not to be "bossy" by our society. However, the best and most tense fiction is bossy. The reader picked up your book because they want you to be the boss of your story and to share that story with them.

Solution: 
If you had: "I believe that's an excellent point"
Change it to: "That's an excellent point."

Note: The only acceptable reason I feel/ I believe/ I think should enter your word count is if it's in dialogue and it is used for characterization. So, if you're making an insecure character who is unsure about sharing her thoughts, having her constantly say I feel/ I believe/ I think would make sense. Just make sure it's done enough that it doesn't seem like a sloppy mistake.


#2: Very

Reason: Useless
Prolific author Florence King once said, "“Very” is the most useless word in the English language and can always come out. More than useless, it is treacherous because it invariably weakens what it is intended to strengthen. For example, would you rather hear the mincing shallowness of “I love you very much” or the heart-slamming intensity of “I love you”?" (http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/341956-very-is-the-most-useless-word-in-the-english-language) That sums it up nicely. "Very" not only is completely unnecessary for your fiction, but it may even lower its quality.

Solution:
You can simply cut "very" from your piece entirely like Ms. King suggests or pull out your thesaurus. Did you write "very afraid"? Switch it to "terrified". How about "very large"? Change it to "enormous".


#3: Really

Reason: Useless
So there might not be a quote with this one, but "really" falls under the same trap. It's vague and, quite frankly, doesn't serve a purpose.

Solution:
Rather than writing: "Amanda really did well in the spelling bee."
Write: "Amanda did well in the spelling bee."
Same impact, better execution.


#4: People

Reason: Vague
Could anything be more unspecific than "people"? With all the shapes, sizes, genders, races, ethnicities, and smells we come in, why confine yourself to the vaguest of vague pronouns? You can do better.

Solution:
See your scene and your characters. Rather than writing, "A person walked past the window" say "A squat man walked past the window" or "A weeping child that smelled of porridge walked past the window".

I can hear you protesting already, "I used the word 'people' because that person isn't a main or supporting character, they're just passing through." After I ask you to seriously consider why you even have this tidbit of info in your scene if that's the case (seriously. Think...), I would still implore that "people" is unacceptable. Write, "a girl walked past the window." Or "a shadow passed the window." Resorting to "people" is like saying "Shakespeare had a thing on his desk." A thing? A THING? What thing? It's distracting in its vagueness. Your readers deserve more.


Now that you're armed with the tools to cut out tension killers, as well as vague and useless words, get back to it. After you're confident seeking them out in finished work to destroy them, it'll become second nature not to use them in your first drafts as well.

Cutting Out the Excess for Success

I've been thinking a lot about excess. It all started this past Thanksgiving. As many faithful blog readers know, I moved from Wisconsin to North Carolina this year, and Thanksgiving was the first holiday we had the chance to celebrate in our new home.

However, if you follow me on Pinterest you also know that I've been a dedicated vegan since 2014. So, needless to say, Turkey Day being the killing and eating of turkeys rather than a day to celebrate their individuality really put a damper on my mood to begin with. Then, I learned that my family was planning to serve not one but TWO 15+ pound turkeys, plus a spiral ham and five pounds of pulled pork barbecue. When only 10 out of our 11 guests ate meat, and two of them were children, this seemed like a ludicrous amount of food (not to mention the 12 sides and 5 types of desserts) to feed less than a dozen people for one meal.

I kept asking, "Why do we need so much? Why can't we do with one turkey or one type of pork instead of causing so much waste and death?" And the only answer I ever got was, "Because it's Thanksgiving."

Directly after Thanksgiving follows Christmas, where again the talk of giant amounts of food reigned supreme. More turkeys, pork tenderloin, beef brisket, potatoes and stuffing and green beans and cheesy mac, one yellow cake, one cheesecake, one gluten free pudding cake, two pies, three different kinds of sugar cookies and four other types of candies and cookies were made and served to not 11 people, but 6.

And directly following dinner, there were presents - mounds and mounds of things we really didn't need to survive, which filled two black garbage bags of torn wrapping paper and ribbons all destined for the landfill.

Something within me shifted this past holiday season. For New Years I made a personal resolution (separate from my writing resolution, which you can find here) to cut back on how much trash I produce and to really think about the food I consume and waste.

I urge you to do the same, if not in your life, then at least in your writing. As I write my new novel, I've employed a minimalist mindset to my words. Why use three words to describe something you can say in one? Why use two scenes to farther the plot when condensing them is possible and allows for a faster tone of pace for your novel, ratcheting up the tension?

If you think about it, what do all your favorite books have in common?

They keep you interested!

The plot moves and the characters sizzle and the tension keeps you wound tight into the pages like the curly ribbon on a Christmas present.

One way you can achieve this same interest is by cutting back the excess in your work. Take out dialogue tags that aren't needed. Use only one simile in this paragraph rather than two. The concept applies to every aspect of the craft.

I've found that cutting back the excess in my life and only keeping what functions or what makes me really happy has helped me to relax more and be more creative. I no longer feel like I'm wasting time or things. I no longer have anxiety that I need to clean and tidy and straighten all the time because there are fewer things that can get out of place.

Why wouldn't you want the same feeling for your novel?

So, the next time you write - condense, condense, condense - and the next time you throw a party, how about cutting out one excess meat option just for me and animals :)

BONUS POST: Where Are You Taking Me? (AKA the "But When" method)

Here it is, the bonus post. Earlier today we talked about setting in this post and right now, we're going to do a short rundown on plot.

One of the biggest reasons agents and publishers turn down beautifully written work is because the characters don't go anywhere or do anything. There's no external conflict. Nothing HAPPENS. What all this boils down to is - there's no plot.

Often, the easiest time to see whether or not plot exists is when you're writing a query. Here, you have a scant three sentences - a single paragraph if you're pushing it - to tell an agent why they should take on your book in their limited roster. Ideally, you should be able to summarize the main plot line in your novel in a single sentence.

When you do this exercise, it's very easy to discover if you've got plot or if it's sorely missing. If your sentence reads something like this, you may be in trouble:

Peasant Gretchen wants more than anything to be a knight, even though she's a woman, so she sets out on a quest to prove her bravery.

Okay, we know this story is about Gretchen, a peasant with lofty goals, but we know little about the conflict she will face. This story could easily get lost wandering in circles in the enchanted forest.

Instead, employ the "but when" method. Take a look at this plot line:

Peasant Gretchen wants more than anything to be a knight, even though she's a woman, so she sets out on a quest to prove her bravery, but when a dragon attacks her home, leaving her father crippled, she must decide between following her dreams or doing what is best for her family.

Now, we know the character: Gretchen the peasant.

We know her deepest desire: To be a knight.

We know the inciting incident: A dragon attacks Gretchen's home.

We know the conflict: She must decide between going home to help her crippled father or committing to becoming a knight.

What we also know is that a plot line exists - at least the beginnings of one - and most likely agents and readers will want to read more to figure out how this conflict resolves.


Try the "but when" method with your own novel in progress and see if you've got a plot worthy of publication or if you're still meandering around the same safe enchanted shrub.

How to Craft An Engaging Fantasy World

Sorry about the radio (or blog) silence last week, faithful scribes. I had my wisdom teeth and a molar removed and lost track of my regular life for a little while.

However, I'm back! And for your patience, I'm doing two posts this week to make up for it. The Bonus Post will follow this post shortly, so keep your eyes peeled.


Now, to get down to the real reason you're here. Do you love fantasy novels?

I sure do. I remember falling in love with them as a middle schooler when I read a plethora of fantasy and magical realism novels. Some of my favorites that still stand out to this day include:

The Skull of Truth by Bruce Coville

Harry Potter series by JK Rowling

Inkheart by Cornelia Funke

The Wayside School books by Louis Sachar

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

...and many many more that I read and that are no doubt stuck back there in my subconscious, guiding me everyday.

Have you ever coveted the ability of these books and others to stick so strongly in the minds of readers? How do these authors make everything so vivid, so readers never want to leave the lands they've discovered there? What makes a novel worth reading again and again?

Characterization, plot, and description all have a little something to do with it, but especially in the fantasy genre, setting reigns key. So, today, I'm going to share with you a few ways to improve your fantasy world and make it more engaging so readers are immersed and never want to leave.


1. Draw a Map: You've probably seen maps in the front or back of epic fantasy novels (think LOTR) to help characters know where everything is placed and how it fits together. Maps are especially important if your characters are going journeying through the land and the reader needs to keep track of many locations and cities. However, maps are also great for stand-alone novels that take place in a single town. You don't have to be an artist, a simple, sloppy stick-figure map is great so you can look back at it and remember where the grocery store is, the blacksmith, and especially how to get back to the enchanted sword the protagonist buried in chapter 6.

2. Write a Bible: The best story worlds are so engaging because there are clear rules that the characters must follow or there will be consequences. Now, you can't have consequences if you don't first know the rules of your own world. Sit down and write a bible for your land. What are the steadfast rules that cannot be broken? Who has magic and who doesn't? Why? Explore every possibility back to the Old Testament where wars were waged and won and lost to shape the world your protagonist inhabits now. One word of warning, though; if you write your bible before your begin your first draft, make sure you're flexible to changing it. Some rules might be tweaked or made more rigid in the writing process and you'll need to be able to change your bible to fit accordingly. You can do this because YOU are the god of this fantasy world. YOU make the laws. No one will come and smite you unless you do it yourself.

3. Info Dump: After you've drawn your map and written your bible, go ahead and open a new blank page. Info dump all over the place there. Tell us the history of this holy site and all the smells, feels, and sights of your protagonist's bedroom. Get all the exposition out of the way here, too. Really go nuts. Now that you've gotten it out of your system, open a completely different blank page and begin your first draft for your novel. Allowing yourself to have that info dump moment allows you as the writer to get familiar with the fantasy world and its characters before you bring readers into the mix. Now, you can pick and choose sparingly which details you're going to include where - so the story unfolds naturally and the reader meets and acquaints himself with your world in due time. You'll be able to write more freely because you won't be worried about forgetting some detail or leaving out too much because you've got it all saved in a separate document that will never see the light of day.

4. Steal From the Real World: If you're writing a novel with integrated fantasy elements or magical realism, this is a no-brainer. Your story could be set in Indiana or Scotland or some other real tangible place. Go ahead and steal that. Even if you're writing an epic fantasy in a new world of your creation, think of places you've been that may give you concrete details from our real world. The supermarket, for example, or the doctor's office. Maybe you have a favorite stream in your hometown your protagonist goes to think by. Steal from the real world because it gives readers something familiar to relate to. However, even if you are basing your setting in a real world place, remember that you're writing a fantasy novel. Go ahead and infuse the fantastical. Make up a new and interesting coffee shop where the cups float to you when your order's ready. Have dragons and rainbow colored goats walking the London streets. Take from the real world and the usual and make it something amazing.



So, that's it! My steadfast rules to helping flesh out a fantasy world. Even if you don't employ them all, using just one or two will help you to better understand your world and its rules and history. It will help you write better, deeper material, even if you're writing a picture book. It may also help you to uncover avenues of adventure you'd never thought of before.

Before long, yours could be the next book causing people to stay up way past their bedtime, engrossed in your world.

Three Ways to Improve Stale Dialogue

There's a couple of bird feeders out my window by my desk. All day I stare out and watch the hierarchy of birds congregate.

First, the feeders are mostly taken over by chickadees and finches. Mourning doves flutter from the trees to the ground, catching and plucking seeds and nuts cast out of the feeders. Then, the cardinals wake and they take over, scaring away all but the bravest and most camouflaged small birds. But, as we learned from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, there's always a bigger fish...I mean bird.

A giant woodpecker flutters in during the hottest part of the day and scares every bird - even the bullying cardinals. He's so big, he has to hang from the bottom of the feeder and lift his head up and around to get to the seeds.

This hierarchy is fascinating (and sometimes distracting) to watch. However, it also reveals a lot about character. The little birds line up along the bird feeder pole, waiting for an open perch. They peck at each other and squawk to get the other birds to move out of the way. Sometimes, there are even mid-air fights for perches.

Of course, you've always got your quiet mourning doves at the base of the feeders, eating contentedly from the ground.

All this witnessing of wild birds got me thinking about dialogue. It is arguably one of - if not the - most important aspect of fiction writing. Dialogue allows you to characterize your main and sub characters. It reveals setting and plot and red herrings. It can do it all -- including go horribly, horribly wrong.

If dialogue is stale and uninteresting, chances are people are going to put down your book and agents won't offer representation.

No one wants that. So, here are three ways to improve your dialogue and make it more dynamic and interesting:

1. Sub-context: Using sub-context is one of my favorite dialogue hacks. Basically, you make the conversation about what isn't said. So, your characters could be discussing a family trip they're planning, but the conversation is actually about how dysfunctional the family is and how absent the father has always been.

Ex: 
Sam: I'm glad you're actually going to make this camping trip. That's a first in, what, six years?
Dad: It's the first time you've planned something interesting.
Sam: Niagara Falls, sharp shooting practice, crystal caves - those weren't interesting?
Dad: How about we stick to the important stuff this time? A real RV. Running water that isn't from a waterfall. Being together.
Sam: If we don't kill each other before this is over.

2. Make it funny: Humor is one of those illusive but essential parts of novels. Agents always say they want it, readers crave it, but it's difficult to nail. However, humor can really punch your dialogue to the next level. Usually, it works best if one of your characters is the sarcastic one-liner. Think Han Solo in Star Wars. It keeps things interesting and gives the other characters ideas off which to springboard important plot information.

Ex:
Bodhi: I can't believe Sir Hangnon turned Minen into a pig.
Josh: It fits him.
Rocky: If only he kept the snout when he came back. It would have helped him keep his long nose out of our business. 

3. Shut your characters up: Believe it or not, there's more information conveyed by what isn't said than by what is. Readers are perceptive because this is most often the type of dialogue we experience in real life. Humans keep their emotional cards close to their chests and they rarely say everything that they mean. Your characters should do the same. So, rather than revert to stale dialogue, try having your characters emote through action.

Ex:
Hannah: See? Carving pumpkins wasn't so bad. Now we just have to do the other one for the second stoop-
Gill: I've really got to get going.
Hannah traced her fingers over the side of the pumpkin. She sighed, then laid the plastic carving tool on the table and picked up her purse.

Most importantly, never use dialogue to tell your reader anything. Dialogue is a tool meant to show, and that's when it's at its most magical. Allow your characters to speak freely, and to hold back what they might want to say instead. It allows your reader to uncover the character naturally without being told what to feel and who to believe.

It also makes the story much more interesting - think of the misconceptions that could come about from things left unsaid. Think of the mid-air fights for feeder perches. Dialogue reveals the inner most depths of a character, and when done correctly, allows for insanity to ensue.

How to Integrate More Detail and Imagery In Your Scenes

I used to be so good at including strong imagery and detail in my scenes. Perhaps as I age, I take these aspects in a scene for granted, just as I know the smell of my quilt at night or the sweat of a faux leather couch in summer. It just seems common place.

However, it's these common place elements that create concrete settings for your readers.

Today, I'll share with you a little technique I've started using so I make sure not to forget to add these all important details.

It's actually quite simple:

For every new scene, write down these five things:

What can my character see?

What can my character hear?

What can my character touch?

What can my character taste?

What can my character smell?

It's so rudimentary, it's almost like the worksheets they used to give us in first grade when we were still learning how to identify our own feelings. But I promise you that if you take the time for each new place and setting to write down a few things for each category, you'll feel more confident as a writer, and you'll have a better sense where your characters are standing.

Let's say you have a conversation between a father and his daughter's new boyfriend taking place in the garage. Now, this scene could probably go down with little information and be just fine. Let's say the only thing your reader knows of the space is that the floor is cement and the family car is parked inside.

Can the scene be written well with this little detail?

Of course. But if you want to add layers of depth to your writing and make your reader feel immersed, consider the advantage of concrete detail.

For example:

Your characters can see an old neon Budweiser sign flashing on and off in glowing red light.

They can hear the father lighting his pipe with a suction sound.

They can touch the unfinished walls and the metal tools that are cool due to the fall weather.

They can taste the tobacco and the crispness of fall leaves coming through the open garage door.

They can smell used oil and the citrus scent of the father's grease cutting hand soap at the sink.

Now, it's important I point out here that you don't need to use all five of the senses to achieve a realistic and immersive scene. In fact, it's better that you don't overwhelm your reader with a million little comments about the setting and take away from the dialogue and stage action.

You may choose to include the sensory elements that best characterize the father in this situation or that are most glaringly obvious to the boyfriend.

So, the boyfriend will probably hear and make note of the father's pipe and the suction sound it makes while he lights it because it causes an uncomfortable lull in conversation. He'll probably also notice the Budweiser sign flashing like a warning light in a sinking submarine. He may even smell the citrus soap under the reek of tobacco.

He will most likely not include the taste sense, and if he does include touch, it will be subtler than the other elements already presented.

Remember too as you write that these details should be splattered through the text as the scene progresses rather than as an "info dump" or "exposition" at the very beginning when the duo enters the garage.

All it takes is a little detail to ratchet your scene up another notch. Try it in your next piece of writing and see how much you learn about the place and characters within it just from the senses they experience.

Mastering the Slight of Hand

Writers often have to be many different people when they're in writing mode. There's your creator hat, your editor hat, your researcher hat...the list goes on and on.

Today, I am going to ask you to don yet one more personality. The Magician.

Being a magician when you write is very important for one essential aspect of a good story: the slight of hand.

With this method, you introduce important plot information in one hand, but as the magician, you distract the reader's attention with your other hand. It's the good old, "look what's happening here and don't be distracted by the curtain to my right."

When the slight of hand is played correctly, it plants the seed of information in your reader's mind without causing them to focus on it and figure out the plot way before your protagonist does. It keeps the story from become too linear, predictable, and boring.

What's great about slight of hand is it doesn't only need to be utilized while giving giant clues into the major plot of the novel. Slight of hand can also give great depth to characterization of both major and minor characters. It can also be used to describe setting and time period.

Let's look at an example:

Plutonimus, your main character, is a banking man at Crooney Credit by day and a Slim City drag queen by night. However, the reader doesn't know the drag queen character in the book is Plutonimus until later in the narrative. To plant the seed of information in your reader's mind, slight of hand will be a great ally.

In this scene, Plutonimus is getting lunch with his coworker from Crooney.

"Why in the world would you approve that home loan?" Gregor asked, sliding his tray further down the line.

I selected a pink plastic fork from the rainbow colored cutlery bucket. "They seemed like they understood the repercussions of taking on such a large sum-"

"If I said I understood what it meant to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, would you sign off on my suicide note?"

I shrugged, considering it. 

Gregor groaned. "Give me a pen."

I pulled a Slim Street Banking pen from my pocket and clicked it open. I extended it toward him, then pulled it back. "How were they supposed to know he was going to lose his job, huh? How do you plan for that?"

"You don't take on a loan you can't repay." Gregor snatched the pen from me. 

In this example, the reader is focused on the conversation between Plutonimus and his coworker. They're worried over what the consequences will be for the protagonist's mistakes. However, there are two slights of hand in this scene as well.

First, the pink fork. With an array of colored cutlery in his reach, Plutonimus selects what would be considered a strange color for a man in his profession to gravitate towards. Sure, he could have simply grabbed without looking, and that's what Gregor undoubtedly thinks, but our narrator makes a point of saying the fork was pink. So we know he chose the color consciously.

Then, though he works and banks at Crooney Credit, Plutonimus hands Gregor a pen from Slim Street Banking. Is this simply a pen a customer of his left behind on his desk? Of course not. This is where Plutonimus puts his drag queen earnings so he can keep his second job a secret from his daily life.

So, as you can see, slight of hand not only adds depth and interest to a scene, but it also allows you to reveal info early in the story without being so transparent and giving everything away.

It's a method employed in mystery and thriller novels for decades, but there's no reason YA, MG, inspirational, women's lit, and fantasy shouldn't have it either.

The next time you write, remember to bring your magician's hat along and create some slight of hand magic.

Naming Characters

Writers say it all the time: My story is my baby.

We nurture it and watch it grow and pick it up when it falls down. We're actively involved in the progression of its life.

I see the resemblance.

Why, then, don't we put more time into our characters names?

Parents spend months trying to find the best name for their little ones. Books are read, friends are consulted, names are Googled. They want something unique and memorable, but they also think about who they wish their child to be. Want them to be strong and taken seriously - better find a name that matches. More interested in your kid being creative - pick a name that fosters that.

Yet, as writers, we often think of name, write it down and then never go back and question it again.

Why is this a problem? Well, I'll give you an example;

The other day I was revising a short story I wrote. One of the main characters has a unique name that just kind of popped into my head one day. It was pronounced like it was spelled and it was powerful, all the things I wanted him to be. I researched everyone else's names, but this one character was always - from the very beginning - stuck to his name.

Two rounds of beta readers and five revisions later, I was ready to begin submitting the manuscript around to magazines and journals. Right before I began searching for this story's home, though, something made me pause.

I did a quick Google search of that one character's name and found out that it was the same name used by a Russian gang in the 40's.

Now, this character was not Russian, nor would he approve of gang membership. I knew instantly that I had to change his name. I went on baby naming sites and looked up names based on first letter (I knew it had to start with B), and based upon his culture and ethnicity.

I found him a better name, but it was almost a disaster. If any reader Googled his name, they would have found many hits on Russian gangs and probably would have thought very differently about my character.

But - don't fret - there are two ways around making this critical mistake.

1. Let's say you need to write, like - RIGHT NOW - because the idea's there and the magic is flowing. Okay, do it. Write your little heart out. Rather than stopping to research names, use what I call the First Date method. "He walks into the room and looks around. She notices him and waves. "'How are you HE?' she asks." ---- This allows you to write the scene you need and worry about naming your darlings after you've figured out who they're going to be.

2. Does the First Date method drive you bonkers? Well then your other option is to take the time and research baby names. (Google "baby girl names" or "Sanskrit names" or "Jewish names" to find millions of lists out there for free.) When you've found the names you need for your characters, begin writing then.

Whatever you do, don't leave one of the most important aspects of your characters up to chance. Sure, it's always nice to have a name pop into your head like a magic perfectly-fitting slipper, but it may not always be the right foot you're applying it to.

Take the time to name your darlings.

Your children would want that kind of dedication from you.

A Recipe For Descriptive Phrases

There are two ways for you to describe your characters: through direct description and through indirect description.

Ultimately, the best novels utilize both direct and indirect description in combination with each other. Think of it like cooking. You need a cup of this, a pinch of that. Description works best when the concoction is mixed throughout the story.

First, let's define our methods of description:

Direct description is a clear explanation of what the character looks like/act likes etc. 

Suzie had blue eyes and silky black hair that always slipped from her braid before third period was even over.

Whereas indirect description is the characterization of the character through actions or implied thought.

Suzie slunk through the cafeteria, her eyes glued to her tray as she weaved between tables and ultimately exited through the doors to the field house. 

In the first example, we get a picture of Suzie's physical characteristics in a concise descriptive sentence. Nothing is happening other than the narrator telling the reader what Suzie looks like. We learn that she has blue eyes and silky hair.

However, in the second example, readers are in the action, watching Suzie slink and exit in a timid manner. We learn that Suzie is shy and possibly embarrassed to interact with her classmates. She gets what she needs and she's out of there.

I once had a creative writing teacher boil it down for me and say, "Direct description is telling, and indirect description is showing."

If you've been writing fiction long enough, you know that showing is always better than telling. We've had this drilled into our heads from our first high school writing course.

But wait! Before you go to your work in progress and delete every instance of direct description, hear me out.

We need both direct and indirect description to make a novel work.While, yes, indirect description keeps the reader in the action of the story and is more authentic to how we meet and interpret people in real life (we're not going to get a paragraph about their likes and dislikes spelled out for us before we meet a new person - however nice it would be!), sometimes important descriptive information needs to be conveyed in a concise manner.

For example, let's say the narrator of the above story notices Suzie's shoes:

They were wore out Chuck Taylors with mismatched sets of shoelaces. But Suzie hadn't been the one to give those shoes their scuffs. Those were Goodwill shoes. I knew because I'd donated them last week and my initials were still scrawled in Sharpie on the left sole.

This is a direct description of the shoes Suzie is wearing. We know they're Chuck Taylors, they're worn out, that they have mismatched shoe laces, and initials on the left sole. However, the description continues and morphs into indirect description as well. Suzie wears pre-worn shoes. This could say something about her socioeconomic status and could be contributing to her lack of self confidence.

So, as you can see, direct description is needed to make sense of indirect description. You can't have nameless, faceless characters acting on a blank set and expect your reader to understand it. Both must work in tandem to create the perfect story.

Your personal writing style will determine how much of each descriptive technique you put into your stories.

However, as a good rule of thumb, I like to use this recipe:

Add no more than one sentence of direct description for every page of indirect description utilized.

The Morsel

Whether you separate your novel by chapters or your short story with asterisks or pound signs (let's face it, they're hashtags now. Forever hashtags.), there's one thing you need to remember before offering your reader a break. It's what I call The Morsel.

The Morsel is some tiny bit of information or foreshadowing that makes it impossible for the reader to stop reading at the intended break.

You give them a whiff - just the tiniest peek - at what you have to offer next, chances are they'll stay to read the next section and the next and the next, and before they or you know it, they're finding you on Twitter and Facebook and writing on your blog that they NEED the next installment of your work or they'll explode.

The Morsel is what makes people read past their bedtimes. It's what makes us fly through giant tomes in two days. The Morsel is the great locomotive of the story.


For example, let's say your chapter ends like this:

"He'll never know anything about it," Chester assured, winking. He then turned his back on me and sauntered out of the room. 

It's okay, right? The scene itself is over in that particular destination. The information has been relayed and we know that Chester is keeping a secret. There's plot here and character. 

But now read the chapter with the inclusion of The Morsel:

"He'll never know anything about it," Chester assured, winking. He then turned his back on me and sauntered out of the room.

It was the last time I'd see him alive.

That's so much better, right? Now the reader wants to know why it's the last time the protagonist sees Chester alive. They want to know how Chester dies and where, and if "He" who Chester is keeping a secret from has anything to do with it. 

The Morsel is what makes the reader turn the page and skim the beginning of the next chapter. It's what tricks them into reading "just ONE MORE." If you're good, your whole book will feel like this to the reader. One Morsel after another after another.

Because, when you boil it down, The Morsel contains one very essential aspect of storytelling: tension. 

It's what makes us stay tuned during the commercial breaks and the chapter breaks and the hashtag pauses. Because we know something is happening or going wrong and we need to find out how and why.

So, go through your latest project. Could your story be aided by some Morsels? Sprinkle them in. Have your betas take a read. Ratchet up that tension. 

Indirect Speech (AKA: "What could you possibly mean?" "Why, let me tell you." "Oh, please do." "With pleasure.")

Early post this week because I start my new day-job tomorrow (wish me luck!).

This week I want to discuss something with you that often gets overlooked: Indirect Speech. Sure, we spend loads of time talking about successful character development, dialogue, and setting, but what about some of the more subtle tools in the writer craft box?

Indirect speech is one of those tools.

To put it simply, indirect speech is the method of paraphrasing your character's actions and dialogue when the information is already known to the reader.

For instance, if your protagonist just learned the evil plot of the antagonist in a long chapter with tons of wonderful dialogue, when she teams up again with her sidekick, she doesn't need to repeat the entire plan because the reader just heard it. Instead, the writer may write something like:

Protag launched into the revelation of Antag's plan as soon as she saw Sidey-Man. 

"But why would he rob Starbucks?" Sidey-Man asked.

This way, the protagonist relays the important information to a supporting character without taking up valuable page-time. (Also note that directly after the indirect speech, the writer flows right into the necessary dialogue in the new scene without any breaks.)

Indirect speech is also important to help cut out common human interactions that your character may think are necessary, but that your reader doesn't want to continuously get stuck reading.

For instance, if you introduce your character as a polite person, they may begin their third conversation in the book like this:

"Hello, Mr. Johnson."

"Hello, Anvil, how's your day going."

"Just fine, how is yours?"

"Splendid. How can I help you?"

"Well, I don't want to alarm you, but I'm looking for a serial killer and I wondered if I could have a peek at your security camera footage?"

This will get mighty tedious mighty fast for your reader. Instead, employ indirect speech:

Anvil greeted Mr. Johnson warmly, then said, "I don't want to alarm you, but I'm looking for a serial killer and I wondered if I could have a peek at your security camera footage?"

This way, Anvil is true to his kind personality and the reader recognizes who this character is, but only the important need-to-know info is given the mighty distinction of quotation marks. 

So, the next time you're writing and find that

1) you're writing the same information over and over again

2) you need to cut word count, or

3) you receive critiques that say there is a lot of repeating information or phrases in your text

have a thought for indirect speech. It may be the subtle, underutilized writing tool your novel needs to kick it up a notch.

Happy Writing this week! I'm going to try and keep up a schedule, but with new jobs and training it's always difficult. Ah, the life of the poor scribe ;)

How to Write a Strong Female Protagonist

Making sure our female leads are strong, confident, and capable is something extremely important for writers (like me) who want to promote feminism and gender equality across the board. And while most writers have good intentions when they set out with their "strong female character" to conquer the world, I've read a number of stories and novels that go about portraying her the wrong way.

While it's great to show your protagonist in a predominantly "male" employment - like kicking butt, taking names, crunching numbers, and leading tech companies - this does not instantly make her "strong". Her body count racking up higher than the man's does not mean you've succeeded at writing her as a real, tangible character. Do you know why? Because that woman is normally portrayed through a lens of masculine characteristics.

She's an island without a single friend or family member. She's generally rude and terrible to be around. She swears to feel tough. She drinks to fit in. She's all around overly aggressive.

Why is this hurtful to women? Because it prolongs gender inequality by saying that woman can only be considered strong if they portray overtly masculine qualities.

Your character can in fact know that she is beautiful. This is not vanity. This is called not promoting body dysmorphic thoughts.

Your character can be confident with aspirations and goals and still be kind and have friends. This is reality. This is being a good person. This is not called being feminine and weak.

Your character needn't sit like a man, dress like a man, think like a man, belch like a man, and drink like one too...all while not falling over in her seven inch heels. This does not make her more confident or strong. This is called transforming her into the "tough guy" or even more insulting the T-U-F-F "tuff guy".

So, if none of this names a strong female protagonist, what does?

The answer lies in the most basic forms of story writing : character and plot.

Your character must make decisions, have desires, and affect the plot. The action of the story will unfold because of how she acts on the plot not on how she reacts to it. She must be the active driving force.

A woman who hates her job but does nothing about it but hope and pray that it gets better as she lives her day the same as she always does is being reactive.

Whereas, a woman who is unhappy in her marriage crashes her car and decides to fake her own death is being active. The plot now unfolds from her decisions and motivations rather than the things that happen to her. She's made the choice to do something about her situation. She's a fully fledged character.

It doesn't matter if your female character is a computer programmer or a preschool teacher. It doesn't matter if she wears high heels or flat shoes. It doesn't matter if she can take a person three times her size down in a parking garage or gets anxiety when she holds a gun.

The only way you can write a strong female protagonist is by making her the catalyst through which the plot flows. Make sure she has desires and motivations. Make sure she DOES stuff and doesn't just let stuff happen to her. And above all, make sure that she's strong because she has desires and gets things done, and not because she portrays the most stereotyped of masculine qualities.

The Pacifier Predicament

When I was three years old, my mother finally convinced me that I was too old to be using pacifiers. She did this in a very stealthy way, like many mothers. She told me that poor children in Africa needed pacifiers, and could I donate a few of my pacifiers for the children who cried all day and night because they had none?

I, of course, agreed. I scurried around the house, digging my pacifiers from their hiding spots. I flung them into the cardboard box my mom set out in the living room. I found every single pacifier, and then I took the final pacifier out of my own mouth and added it to the box. My mom labeled the box for a phony African children's organization and we taped it shut.

Then, my mom and I walked the box of pacifiers down to the mailbox at the end of the driveway and slotted it in. She let me put the little flag up and I said goodbye with no reservations to every pacifier I had.

Little did I know, my mother snuck down to the mailbox during naptime and removed the box because, of course, the African children's pacifier organization didn't really exist.

That day my mom successfully did two things. 1. She became the spring board off which I would further my activism later in life, and 2. She allowed me to give up the things I no longer needed when I was ready.

This is something you need to remember when you write, too.

I bring up this little anecdote because it's something I'm struggling to remember at this very moment. I'm currently working on a story written in separate installments. My brain thinks that once I'm done with one part, I should go back and reread it and revise where necessary. But my heart tells me to keep writing. If I don't keep up the pace and flow of the next story, they won't seem cohesive.

What I keep telling myself to remember is that even if a scene doesn't feel complete or feels a little off for some reason I can't fathom right now, I don't need to worry about it. I just need to keep writing. When I finish the whole story - every single part - then I can go back and reread to see what's wrong.

Right now, I'm not ready to give anything up in my writing process. And it would be traumatic for me to be forced to.

This same advice works if you're already in the revising stage, too. Let's say you submit the next chapter of your novel to your trusty beta readers. They come back with HUGE problems in the plotting and characterization. However, you just can't seem to bring yourself to kill your darlings just yet.

It's okay. Go have a cup of coffee. Work on some poetry or the next chapter. Wait until you have enough distance from the criticism to truly take it in.

Because if my mom had come to a two year old Alyssa and asked her to give up her pacifiers, even if it was for a good cause, I would have screamed and refused. If she persisted, I probably would have developed some life-long thumb sucking habit. But instead, I got the space I needed to nurture the idea of giving up my beloved pacifiers. I was only approached with the idea of change when I was ready.

Don't feel bad if you leave a scene unfinished to continue the rate at which you're writing. Don't feel bad if you thank your critiquers for their comments, but don't look at them or use them for months. Everyone has a different time frame with change. Find yours and you'll be sending those pacifiers off in no time - no looking back.

The Power of Negotiation in Dialogue (Late Post)

Two years ago, I started a job at a medical facility in appointing. I'd lived my entire professional career in customer service, so I figured it'd be nothing new. However, I was now not only dealing with ornery doctors and overworked nursing staff, but angry, upset, and sick patients. I knew to expect that people would be short-tempered (we all are when we feel crappy, am I right?) but I didn't know just how volatile people could get. If I didn't diffuse their anger at having to wait 45 minutes to get through to me on the phone, or their frustration that they didn't get a refill of pain pills, or their downright pessimism onto how likely it would be for them to get to a doctor's appointment prior to two in the afternoon, then I was often called terrible names or even found myself dodging pens and other throwable objects.

I joked with my coworkers then that I needed a course in hostage negotiation to get through my day.

It seems that when it comes to writing, the same course would be very beneficial.

And I'm not just writing this post to those who write thrillers or detective novels. I'm talking to all you picture book authors, sci-fi scribes, and inspirational writers, too.

All of us need to better hone our negotiation skills to write one of the most important aspects of a story or novel: Dialogue.

Think about why dialogue exists in fiction. Yes, it's to spice it up so we're not only reading narration. Yes, it exists so readers better understand your protagonist's (and antagonist's) voice and inner thoughts. But what is common in the most effective dialogue? Answer: it allows characters to negotiate.

A child will talk to their mother in order to obtain the cookie they so desperately want.

A terrorist will talk to his victim in order to explain his side of the story.

A new love interest will talk to the shy girl in class in order to better understand her.

And why do the other characters respond?

The mother will want the child to do a chore to help her workload before the cookie is eaten.

The victim will try to talk the terrorist out of killing him so he can go home and see his family.

The shy girl will talk because she likes the attention she's getting from another human being and doesn't want it to end.

All of these stories, and all of these characters produce dialogue so that they can negotiate something. Characters want the outcome they've been hoping for. They want to convince everyone else that their way of viewing the world is the way that makes the most sense. It's the same motivation behind why we talk to our family members or roommates.

I remind my roommate before she leaves to get the cruelty-free dish detergent because it is the one that I want. She tells me to get it myself because she doesn't want to go out of her way just for that item. I offer in a free home-cooked meal in return. She reluctantly accepts.

It's negotiation through and through.

And it never fails. We communicate to negotiate our way. Your characters should be doing the same.

Homework: Go through your work-in-progress and reread your dialogue. Ask yourself what is being negotiated in each scene. Cut any dialogue that doesn't further each side's case towards that end negotiation.