Please, No Need to Explain

Today, we're going to discuss repetition, especially where it fits in with details while writing your scene.

I'm sure you've read it before. I'm sure you've written it before. Heck, I certainly have!

You write a beautifully descriptive sentence about a character's actions. Then, you explain it.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Here's an example:


Wanda fiddled with her pen. She looked from me to the bundle of fur in my arms and finally rested her eyes on the dusty ceiling fan. "You found it, huh?" she said skeptically. 


You've already shown us through Wanda's actions and her words that she's skeptical about the story the protagonist has told her. Repeating this skepticism by writing, "she said skeptically" is redundant.

Why shouldn't we explain details in our writing?

1) It's Unnecessary: You've just shown us through action and dialogue that a character feels a certain way. No need to beat us over the head with the emotions.

2) Showing is Better Than Telling: We've heard it since the fifth grade, folks. Show don't tell. If you can show through stage direction and action how a character feels, why would you instead choose to tell your readers? It's so much more real and immersive when they're involved in the scene.

3) It Insults the Reader: When you repeat information twice in the same paragraph - sometimes in the same sentence! - you're basically telling the reader that they're too thick to understand from your subtle actions what your characters are feeling, so you're going to write it down in plain English for them to grasp. Your readers are smart. You are smart. No need to repeat what's already been conveyed.

So the next time you're editing or even writing your scene, try not to explain what's happening. If you're properly conveying stage action and details as they unfold organically from your characters, there's no need to go back through and tell us that Benji feels slighted, Amanda is frustrated, and the entirety of Wisconsin is hip-deep in snowfall.

Grabbing Readers by the Throat

I finished writing a new novel earlier this month. After letting it sit a week or so, I started rereading it, revising, and sending preliminary drafts out for critique to my writing group.

Now, you must know that the idea for this novel came to me years ago - when I was only a junior in high school. However, all the pieces didn't click together until now, when the book came rushing out of my fingers and pounded in the keys of my laptop.

When I started writing just a few months ago, I began with a sentence (like all of us do). Let's call that Sentence A.

However, when I looked over my notes, I found another beginning sentence I'd written back in high school. This is Sentence B. Not only was it completely different, but it started me almost two chapters prior in the day than what I wrote in Sentence A.

So, naturally, I decided I'd play out what happened between Sentence B and Sentence A. Five thousand words of exposition later, I had a first and second chapter cluttering up the most important part of my novel - the beginning.

It's not like that information is bad, or not useful, or even boring. Things happen. Important characters are introduced. The world is set up.

But it isn't the RIGHT information. It's not the stuff that readers need to know about the protagonist and the inciting incident right from the very first page.

In fact, one of the women in my writing group said, "It's not like Sentence B didn't grab me. It did. It took me by the hand. But Sentence A grabs me by the throat and doesn't let me go."

The strange part about all of this is that I knew that Sentence A was better. I knew that I had to start my novel there all along.

And you know too.

You know when you read through your draft that that verb is too flowery or that sentence isn't right. You know when your protagonist's monologue that stretches for three pages is way too much dialogue and not enough action. You know that you had to start with Sentence A rather than Sentence B.

That's the beauty of being a writer. All you need is within you. You can feel the self doubt creeping in, whispering "that doesn't work." You hear it, even subconsciously, and it puts this seed inside you that makes you show your work to others and ask, "Hey, what do you think of Sentence B?"

Every time (if they're not lying to save your feelings), your readers and critiquers, and yes, your agents, know that you should cut Sentence B and all that precedes it.

The power lies within you. The hard part is learning to listen to it.

The reward, however, is great. I'd much rather grab a reader by the throat and have them tearing through my novel than lead them timidly by the hand.

I Believe, I Believe, I Believe! (AKA Weak Words You Need To Cut Now)

You may think that your editing ceases with punctuation and passive voice. Think again. There are many writer pitfalls that are acceptable in the real world, but not so in fiction. Take a look at my compilation of weak words and phrases you need to cut from your writing right NOW to take it to the next level.

(P.S. don't know what I mean when I say passive voice? Check out this previous post.)


#1: I feel/ I believe/ I think

Reason: It Kills Tension
These are extraneous words we use in dialogue so we don't sound too arrogant on a day to day basis. Women especially have problems over using these words in writing because we're taught not to be "bossy" by our society. However, the best and most tense fiction is bossy. The reader picked up your book because they want you to be the boss of your story and to share that story with them.

Solution: 
If you had: "I believe that's an excellent point"
Change it to: "That's an excellent point."

Note: The only acceptable reason I feel/ I believe/ I think should enter your word count is if it's in dialogue and it is used for characterization. So, if you're making an insecure character who is unsure about sharing her thoughts, having her constantly say I feel/ I believe/ I think would make sense. Just make sure it's done enough that it doesn't seem like a sloppy mistake.


#2: Very

Reason: Useless
Prolific author Florence King once said, "“Very” is the most useless word in the English language and can always come out. More than useless, it is treacherous because it invariably weakens what it is intended to strengthen. For example, would you rather hear the mincing shallowness of “I love you very much” or the heart-slamming intensity of “I love you”?" (http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/341956-very-is-the-most-useless-word-in-the-english-language) That sums it up nicely. "Very" not only is completely unnecessary for your fiction, but it may even lower its quality.

Solution:
You can simply cut "very" from your piece entirely like Ms. King suggests or pull out your thesaurus. Did you write "very afraid"? Switch it to "terrified". How about "very large"? Change it to "enormous".


#3: Really

Reason: Useless
So there might not be a quote with this one, but "really" falls under the same trap. It's vague and, quite frankly, doesn't serve a purpose.

Solution:
Rather than writing: "Amanda really did well in the spelling bee."
Write: "Amanda did well in the spelling bee."
Same impact, better execution.


#4: People

Reason: Vague
Could anything be more unspecific than "people"? With all the shapes, sizes, genders, races, ethnicities, and smells we come in, why confine yourself to the vaguest of vague pronouns? You can do better.

Solution:
See your scene and your characters. Rather than writing, "A person walked past the window" say "A squat man walked past the window" or "A weeping child that smelled of porridge walked past the window".

I can hear you protesting already, "I used the word 'people' because that person isn't a main or supporting character, they're just passing through." After I ask you to seriously consider why you even have this tidbit of info in your scene if that's the case (seriously. Think...), I would still implore that "people" is unacceptable. Write, "a girl walked past the window." Or "a shadow passed the window." Resorting to "people" is like saying "Shakespeare had a thing on his desk." A thing? A THING? What thing? It's distracting in its vagueness. Your readers deserve more.


Now that you're armed with the tools to cut out tension killers, as well as vague and useless words, get back to it. After you're confident seeking them out in finished work to destroy them, it'll become second nature not to use them in your first drafts as well.

Cutting Out the Excess for Success

I've been thinking a lot about excess. It all started this past Thanksgiving. As many faithful blog readers know, I moved from Wisconsin to North Carolina this year, and Thanksgiving was the first holiday we had the chance to celebrate in our new home.

However, if you follow me on Pinterest you also know that I've been a dedicated vegan since 2014. So, needless to say, Turkey Day being the killing and eating of turkeys rather than a day to celebrate their individuality really put a damper on my mood to begin with. Then, I learned that my family was planning to serve not one but TWO 15+ pound turkeys, plus a spiral ham and five pounds of pulled pork barbecue. When only 10 out of our 11 guests ate meat, and two of them were children, this seemed like a ludicrous amount of food (not to mention the 12 sides and 5 types of desserts) to feed less than a dozen people for one meal.

I kept asking, "Why do we need so much? Why can't we do with one turkey or one type of pork instead of causing so much waste and death?" And the only answer I ever got was, "Because it's Thanksgiving."

Directly after Thanksgiving follows Christmas, where again the talk of giant amounts of food reigned supreme. More turkeys, pork tenderloin, beef brisket, potatoes and stuffing and green beans and cheesy mac, one yellow cake, one cheesecake, one gluten free pudding cake, two pies, three different kinds of sugar cookies and four other types of candies and cookies were made and served to not 11 people, but 6.

And directly following dinner, there were presents - mounds and mounds of things we really didn't need to survive, which filled two black garbage bags of torn wrapping paper and ribbons all destined for the landfill.

Something within me shifted this past holiday season. For New Years I made a personal resolution (separate from my writing resolution, which you can find here) to cut back on how much trash I produce and to really think about the food I consume and waste.

I urge you to do the same, if not in your life, then at least in your writing. As I write my new novel, I've employed a minimalist mindset to my words. Why use three words to describe something you can say in one? Why use two scenes to farther the plot when condensing them is possible and allows for a faster tone of pace for your novel, ratcheting up the tension?

If you think about it, what do all your favorite books have in common?

They keep you interested!

The plot moves and the characters sizzle and the tension keeps you wound tight into the pages like the curly ribbon on a Christmas present.

One way you can achieve this same interest is by cutting back the excess in your work. Take out dialogue tags that aren't needed. Use only one simile in this paragraph rather than two. The concept applies to every aspect of the craft.

I've found that cutting back the excess in my life and only keeping what functions or what makes me really happy has helped me to relax more and be more creative. I no longer feel like I'm wasting time or things. I no longer have anxiety that I need to clean and tidy and straighten all the time because there are fewer things that can get out of place.

Why wouldn't you want the same feeling for your novel?

So, the next time you write - condense, condense, condense - and the next time you throw a party, how about cutting out one excess meat option just for me and animals :)

Challenge Post: Opposite Day

I was recently told that I have to do a pretty hefty revision of a short story I wrote months ago. In my mind, the piece was just as it was supposed to be with enough tension and explanation of the plot to get to the next story in the series while still allowing this piece to stand on its own. Of course, that was 5 months ago, so I probably feel differently about it now. (Readers and editors sure do! lol)

To keep myself from the defensive rut of, "I need this paragraph of delicious prose" or "How can they not understand the subtle characterization?", I'm challenging myself to an opposite day.

The rules of opposite day are simple: You must write in an area or manner which is completely opposite to your normal style.

For instance, I normally write behind tightly closed doors where no one but my rabbits (who are too short to see the screen anyway) can hear my fingers dance along the keyboard. I prefer a tomb-like silence and stillness and even the fan of my laptop kicking in can throw me from my meditation.

So, on opposite day, I'm taking my laptop to the coffee shop uptown and writing amongst human beings. There will be talking, cell phone noise, espresso sounds and smells. People will probably come up and ask me what I'm doing. I will have to be cordial.

The whole idea of opposite day is to jolt you out of your normal routine and mindset and make you see your work from the perspective of new readers - readers who often first encounter your piece on their commute to work, or on their lunch break, or while also watching TV.

But I don't want to be the only one using opposite day. I challenge you, fellow blog reader, no matter what day you stumble upon this post, to do opposite day with me.

Do you normally write surrounded by bustling action and many people? Then find a way to write in peace (yes, even if you have to shut yourself in the bathroom). Do you write listening to blaring music? Take off the headphones and see what your characters say in silence. Vice versa.

Change something. See what happens. Even if it sucks, you'll have tried one more option and be another step closer to perfection.

Indirect Speech (AKA: "What could you possibly mean?" "Why, let me tell you." "Oh, please do." "With pleasure.")

Early post this week because I start my new day-job tomorrow (wish me luck!).

This week I want to discuss something with you that often gets overlooked: Indirect Speech. Sure, we spend loads of time talking about successful character development, dialogue, and setting, but what about some of the more subtle tools in the writer craft box?

Indirect speech is one of those tools.

To put it simply, indirect speech is the method of paraphrasing your character's actions and dialogue when the information is already known to the reader.

For instance, if your protagonist just learned the evil plot of the antagonist in a long chapter with tons of wonderful dialogue, when she teams up again with her sidekick, she doesn't need to repeat the entire plan because the reader just heard it. Instead, the writer may write something like:

Protag launched into the revelation of Antag's plan as soon as she saw Sidey-Man. 

"But why would he rob Starbucks?" Sidey-Man asked.

This way, the protagonist relays the important information to a supporting character without taking up valuable page-time. (Also note that directly after the indirect speech, the writer flows right into the necessary dialogue in the new scene without any breaks.)

Indirect speech is also important to help cut out common human interactions that your character may think are necessary, but that your reader doesn't want to continuously get stuck reading.

For instance, if you introduce your character as a polite person, they may begin their third conversation in the book like this:

"Hello, Mr. Johnson."

"Hello, Anvil, how's your day going."

"Just fine, how is yours?"

"Splendid. How can I help you?"

"Well, I don't want to alarm you, but I'm looking for a serial killer and I wondered if I could have a peek at your security camera footage?"

This will get mighty tedious mighty fast for your reader. Instead, employ indirect speech:

Anvil greeted Mr. Johnson warmly, then said, "I don't want to alarm you, but I'm looking for a serial killer and I wondered if I could have a peek at your security camera footage?"

This way, Anvil is true to his kind personality and the reader recognizes who this character is, but only the important need-to-know info is given the mighty distinction of quotation marks. 

So, the next time you're writing and find that

1) you're writing the same information over and over again

2) you need to cut word count, or

3) you receive critiques that say there is a lot of repeating information or phrases in your text

have a thought for indirect speech. It may be the subtle, underutilized writing tool your novel needs to kick it up a notch.

Happy Writing this week! I'm going to try and keep up a schedule, but with new jobs and training it's always difficult. Ah, the life of the poor scribe ;)

The Pacifier Predicament

When I was three years old, my mother finally convinced me that I was too old to be using pacifiers. She did this in a very stealthy way, like many mothers. She told me that poor children in Africa needed pacifiers, and could I donate a few of my pacifiers for the children who cried all day and night because they had none?

I, of course, agreed. I scurried around the house, digging my pacifiers from their hiding spots. I flung them into the cardboard box my mom set out in the living room. I found every single pacifier, and then I took the final pacifier out of my own mouth and added it to the box. My mom labeled the box for a phony African children's organization and we taped it shut.

Then, my mom and I walked the box of pacifiers down to the mailbox at the end of the driveway and slotted it in. She let me put the little flag up and I said goodbye with no reservations to every pacifier I had.

Little did I know, my mother snuck down to the mailbox during naptime and removed the box because, of course, the African children's pacifier organization didn't really exist.

That day my mom successfully did two things. 1. She became the spring board off which I would further my activism later in life, and 2. She allowed me to give up the things I no longer needed when I was ready.

This is something you need to remember when you write, too.

I bring up this little anecdote because it's something I'm struggling to remember at this very moment. I'm currently working on a story written in separate installments. My brain thinks that once I'm done with one part, I should go back and reread it and revise where necessary. But my heart tells me to keep writing. If I don't keep up the pace and flow of the next story, they won't seem cohesive.

What I keep telling myself to remember is that even if a scene doesn't feel complete or feels a little off for some reason I can't fathom right now, I don't need to worry about it. I just need to keep writing. When I finish the whole story - every single part - then I can go back and reread to see what's wrong.

Right now, I'm not ready to give anything up in my writing process. And it would be traumatic for me to be forced to.

This same advice works if you're already in the revising stage, too. Let's say you submit the next chapter of your novel to your trusty beta readers. They come back with HUGE problems in the plotting and characterization. However, you just can't seem to bring yourself to kill your darlings just yet.

It's okay. Go have a cup of coffee. Work on some poetry or the next chapter. Wait until you have enough distance from the criticism to truly take it in.

Because if my mom had come to a two year old Alyssa and asked her to give up her pacifiers, even if it was for a good cause, I would have screamed and refused. If she persisted, I probably would have developed some life-long thumb sucking habit. But instead, I got the space I needed to nurture the idea of giving up my beloved pacifiers. I was only approached with the idea of change when I was ready.

Don't feel bad if you leave a scene unfinished to continue the rate at which you're writing. Don't feel bad if you thank your critiquers for their comments, but don't look at them or use them for months. Everyone has a different time frame with change. Find yours and you'll be sending those pacifiers off in no time - no looking back.