How the Thin-Skinned Listen to Criticism

Experiment: You've written your first draft (perhaps even revised it into a second or third draft) and you want to share it. You show a small portion to family or friends who you think will be honest and still nice.

Result: They have some "suggestions". They don't like that line you smile at every time you read it because it sounds so great in your own mind. They don't think your character is original, realistic, or even very likeable. They think the story has been done before.

Reaction: Well, if you're anything like me, you're crushed. You thought you could go to this person for help, and while you did say, "Be honest," you didn't mean for them to tear you to shreds. At least, that's what this feels like. It feels like the people you trust and respect are telling you that you are a horrible writer. It's especially painful when the critic is a published writer or a prized writing group ally.

Here's the kicker, though. You CAN hate them. Go ahead, leave their critique session with a few silent choice words you repeat to yourself over and over as you drive home. Tell yourself that they know nothing and you really need to get some new beta readers if you're ever going to get published in this life. Tell yourself your professors are trying to hold you back so the student doesn't surpass the teacher. Tell yourself anything you need. Hate your critic.

But always keep their notes!

Even if you never want to see them again, keep their revision. Because if you sit down a few days after the initial blow - of course telling yourself that beta reader X has no idea what he's talking about and you're going to prove him wrong by making his changes and seeing how horrible the story reads now - you'll see the importance. Open a new document or grab a fresh sheet of paper, make the changes (yes, all of them) to the manuscript, and read it. By this time, hopefully you've cooled down enough to read the story and not see the critic's face looming in a red fog in your mind. Read the story for the story itself and see what happens. Truthfully, some spots may have improved. You may like a few of the changes or at least think they're heading in the right direction. Other revisions you won't agree with. The character would never think/act/or say that or the prose no longer sounds like you. That's fine. But now you've tried them and you don't have to worry about them again. Keep the ones that work, toss the ones that don't. Simple.

In essence, if you want to be a writer and you have a thin skin, (guilty as charged) you can make it. Hate your critic...but then take their advice.